Reflection: I miss Sundays.
Wow, this article ended up being totally different from what I intended - once I started jotting down my thoughts (and drinking a homemade almond milk latte with a hint of cinnamon) - it transformed from a quick statement piece into a journal entry. Oh well, I'm an open book - here are my thoughts...
I don't work on Sundays - although I am in the food business.
I stopped working Sundays after my last job (I worked Sunday mornings) - I felt empty.
I requested off Sunday (at my last job), but relented when a "fantastic learning opportunity" (how it was presented to me) came my way. It wasn't worth it. I literally felt like I was losing myself and slipped in and out of deep disconnection from Christ, myself and others. I felt one-dimensional. I hated it. I quit. There is more to the story, drama...etc...but let's focus on losing myself. I got another job interview a week or so later and let them know that Sunday mornings were my non-negotiable. Point blank.
So, now I am here. I have my Sundays (and swag) back and I love it. I feel more connected. Again, far more to the story, but it's all in a different (unwritten) article. I feel like Shelby again, but...yes, there is a but... I know y'all are thinking "can't this
There goes my but(t) again...get it?
Anyways, I miss Midwestern-style Sundays (from the beginning to the end):
- I miss waking up with my family - each of us has our turn for the shower.
- Wearing Sunday's finest - dad smelling the halls with his cologne and mom doing each of our hair and giving us the Lynne Stone run down...
- I miss giving them my run down...
- I miss hot piping coffee in the mornings - courtesy of Ken Stone - delivered to each of our locations by my mom...
- I miss the small breakfast treat - cup of fruit, cut of coffee cake, Cinnamon roll...
- I miss my dad's beautiful ties and Kenny's "not coming out of my room until the final call down"
- I miss my mom's voice screaming from downstairs "KENNY, SHELBY, RENNY - your dad is already in the car!!!" and then hearing her mutter to herself "you know what I'm leaving..." (if Mike is at our house - she is muttering to Mike - who somehow is always downstairs waiting with her... he's such a suck-up)
- I miss the car ride conversation or listening to the WIZF (radio station) topic of the day...
- I miss entering church and being greeted with a huge smile, handshake (or hug) and a "welcome sistah"
- I miss praise and worship that has you hopping up and down, singing to the top of your lungs, screaming about the good-times comin' (on earth and in Heaven).
- I miss choir members dressed in choir robes.
- I miss seeing my girls and trying to find a way to sit near one another or meet up after church
- I miss hug-ten- people around you...
- I miss sermons about the good, bad, and the ugly! THE REALLY UGLY - no politically correct UGLY - but the real deal - the Devil exist and YOU WILL GO TO HELL sermons.
- I miss the sermons that made you examine every part of your life and pray that you get better - you being unforgiving, not giving to the poor, being selfish, wanting the down-fall of your enemy, having an enemy, not spending time with the Lord on your face...
- I miss "turn around and tap yo' neighba and tell'm "NEIGHBA, IT AIN'T TOO LATE!"
- I miss the alter-calls where you and your friends could lay and pray together - each crying and knowing that life is good, but God is better.
- I miss being in a place where I know every one loves the Lord so much - we are all sooooo flawed...but we have the love of Christ keeping us together
- I miss wanting to do-better by Christ and my loved ones...
- I miss the 30 minutes after church - RUNNING our mouths - sooo many people to see and to talk to.
- I miss my parents taking turns trying to pull the other one out of church, then getting in the car and blaming each other for being late for our reservation.
- I miss BIG family brunches - after church brunches were nooooooo joke. BIG Midwestern meals - I'm talking... omelets (with plenty of cheese and bacon), biscuits with butter and honey, fluffy pancakes (that are the size of my head), even bigger waffles or french toast, bacon (turkey or pork), sausage (patties or links), a small side salad or fruit cup, orange juice, piping hot coffee (with flavored creamers),
- I miss our amazing waiter/waitress that would take care of us like we are guests in his/her home. Smiling through every water refill and moment of indecisiveness.
- I miss returning home and watching Lifetime all afternoon - floating in and out of consciousness.
- During moments of consciousness there is someone to talk to - whether sitting outside talking to a friend/family member, running my mouth on the phone, or having someone hanging out with me at the crib...
- I miss being alone, but never feeling lonely.
- I miss what I thought was "Sunday" - which was being in the midst of love and connectedness at all times.
