Every time I scroll down the page...

and see pictures of baby Neiko, my heart drops into my stomach. Where does time go? What happens? Why can't we relive the special moments? Why don't we know how special they are in the time? Do we ever really know when we are truly content? I think we do. I know that I am living in the "sweet memories" days: warm drinks, tons of noise, cuddles galore, "mommy" every three seconds, a happy hubby, and the strength that only God can give. I'm pretty sure, I will be seeing these days through the rosiest colored lenses.

Why did I stop blogging? There is no way that Neiko's gonna read my journals when he is an old man, but maybe he will read these posts? What about Noah? Should I simply start posting things about him only? Will he always feel like it's "always both of us and never just me?" I'm the oldest, I don't know those baby problems.

Ashley cracked me up. We still print photos in our home. She goes, "dang cous, I'm so impressed that you have just as many pictures up of Noah as you do Neiko." hahahaha! It's true. I'm so intentional about that. I never buy one something without buying the other something. NEVER. Regardless of what the item is or who is with me.

That said, I do try to spend time with them separately once in a while - so they can both get me. I'm not great at multitasking. I do better WITH EVERYONE (and everything) one-on-one.

Well, it's 9:30 pm. No more blue light. Just dim lights and candlelight. Peace and joy.

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