Living Beyond the Schedule

From pinterest, I am obsessed with finding these resources

So I live off of schedules. OPE (organizing, planning and executing) has always been my strong suit. It's the part of an interview that I crush. I've always said that it's the only way that a free-spirit can manage and thrive in the type-A environment in which I was nurtured (at home, at school, and now in my career). I have to know what comes next or else if left to me - the decision could take all of the execution time and energy.

As Ashley, my incredibly decisive cousin, used to tease:

"How we going to McDonald's, waiting in this long line, and you get up here and don't know what you want?" 

To make it worse, I rarely eat meat - which only left a few choices (back in the 2000s).

I say this to say, that I am slowly recognizing that although I have...hmmmmm...six...errr...seven ways to organize myself - I still cannot get it all done. There is no list, no schedule that can help me. I have to cut things. I have to realize what my priorities are: Who am I. Who am I in the roles that I play? What's filling vs fueling? And then pray, meditate, and visualize a day of wholeness. What's my longterm end game (like my dad, the visionary asks me)? What are my musts? What are my BIG rocks? What are my pebbles? That's what I am missing. I am missing Shelby in all of this. 

I read constantly. And I observe constantly - so many times, I say "ooohhh, I want to do that." 

"And at the end of the day, I have created: my work to-dos based off of the single male that works 65 hours a week, my home to-dos off of the homesteading housewife,  my boys' activities off of the homeschooling rural momma, my civil service off of the podcast social acitivists, and compared my self-care routine with the 21-year-old student with flawless skin and a beautiful full mane."

And then I sit back at the end of the day, look at my lists, make more lists, and either feel super great, incredibly depleted or both. But even after two or three super great days - I always feel burnt out and empty (which is actually a real INFJ thing). So, therefore, I am going to try to break this cycle. I am not a workaholic, homesteading, homeschooling, social activist, college student. I am a Christian, creative, woke, nonprofit, WFH, momma and wife. And under the guidance and grace of my Creator - I get to choose what my days' look like. I get to choose what I do. I get to plan it and then completely flow with the tide of my day. So, yes, I am going to keep creating my color-coordinated schedules, but only after I pray and visualize what success looks like in my world. And after it's created, I am going to allow for my Creator to create the tide and I will flow with it.

Examples of my calendars: 

The weekly schedule that I created for my boys

Here is my own refrigerator - daily, weekly cleaning,
Purple - orange detailed mock Pinterest schedule (me and boys)
  Workout schedule behind it. 

where I put my daily reading quotes, big thoughts, "aha" moments, don't forget

Weekly work schedule

That said, in this season of life the schedule is life-giving. But when the items on the schedule or to-do list are simply inauthentic lists of stuff - then they are actually life-takers.