The Truth about me and Mike's relationship
I can't remember who said this, but a young woman was complaining about her marriage to her grandmother, and the young woman asked, "I mean how did you do it for 50 years - didn't you ever fall out of love with grandpa." And the grandmother answered, "of course, there were times that I fell out of love with grandpa. But we never fell out of love at the same time."
Today at church, the message was about the three kinds of love that man and wife have... and I would love to run my mouth and recite the whole message on this blog (it was that good), but I don't have the time or patience and you don't have the time and probably not the patience. So, I am going to skip to the TWO points that really registered with me when thinking about my relationship and here they are:
1. Sometimes there aren't tingling feelings, excitement and sexiness in the marriage.
2. Men and women are COMPLETELY and utterly different.
Tingling feeling my....:
The other day, I ran into a person that I actually didn't know at all...but the sweetest girl in the world. She stopped me because she reads my blog and I looked familiar (we had seen each other around). She started telling me about how she was single as of now and although she really loved her ex, she couldn't be with him because she didn't have the tingling feeling with him all the time...and then she followed up with - "let's just say we aren't like you and Mike."
So, there was the statement...the statement that I've heard all too often and so it's about time that I be very clear - 90% of the time...Mike and I are on fire for one another - all glory be to God...BUT about 10% of the time there is NO TINGLE...in fact, there are times that we aren't hot and heavy...or even mildly attracted to one another and guess what?!? THAT'S OKAY. I understand that there will be times, possibly days, and God-forbid years...where Mike and I are not gaga googoo over one another.
God-forbid tomorrow, I or Mike lose our hair, our faces, our bodies, our WHATEVER...we have both signed up for the long haul. I love knowing that there are days that we have fights, where I can look a hot mess, STINK (yes, I said it), drop tons of balls (pun attended), and GOD-willing there will be a time when my breasts touch my belly button, my hair is white, my arms flap when I clap, my body is filled with wrinkles - he will be right beside me.
Everyday isn't fun...there are hours where we sit in other rooms, meals where we consume and not speak, moments where he is more like an annoying bugaboo than the man of Steel...just like moments where I act more like his "nagging annoying boss" than a fantastic wife...but guess what - this isn't a test drive, we've decided to not trade each other in for a newer and better model...like Mike tells me all the time, "baby, I intend on leaving the dance with the woman that I came to the party with" and I trust that. There is no one else in this entire world that has taken an oath to love me...betteryet stand by me throughout it ALL...and you know what I take comfort in knowing that yes, it "ALL" does include moments that I can't keep my eyes off of him, where the intimacy is so intence it's suffocating, when we finish one another's sentences or have tons of inside jokes and memories...but it "ALL" also includes the moments when he is running super late to EVERYTHING, when I come home looking like I've been jumped, when he refuses to take his shoes off before standing on the carpet and when I have to continually nag him about it (20 min. after his shoes are off)....
It's nothing like knowing that Mike knows me for who I really am (and I am a trip - leave it there) and has decided that he wants to spend the rest of his days with me...and I, him.
Men and women are totally different:
The pastor said it best, "just to show how different we are - when my wife puts her hand on my hand we are thinking something totally different..." LOL...Mike and I literally laughed out loud in church. We couldn't stop - this is the story of our marriage - everything is a SIGN for him. I can't wear shorts at night without him "I know what this means" (nasty face) "Honey, I'm just hot." An innocent smile before going into our bedroom - I get followed... it's just so crazy how two totally different people from totally different places and families combine and become one.
But if there is one thing that I can say about both of these facts (the fact that there are very few (if any) relationships that survive on tingles and men and women are completely different) is that it takes work, it takes commitment, it takes loyalty, it takes faithfulness, it takes realizing that every day isn't exciting/funny/fun/tingles, it takes figuring out and often times embracing differences and it takes a whole lotta prayer... but boy, from what I feel, from my grandmother and mother's mouths, from articles written by people who've been married for decades - it's worth it.
The other day, I ran into a person that I actually didn't know at all...but the sweetest girl in the world. She stopped me because she reads my blog and I looked familiar (we had seen each other around). She started telling me about how she was single as of now and although she really loved her ex, she couldn't be with him because she didn't have the tingling feeling with him all the time...and then she followed up with - "let's just say we aren't like you and Mike."
So, there was the statement...the statement that I've heard all too often and so it's about time that I be very clear - 90% of the time...Mike and I are on fire for one another - all glory be to God...BUT about 10% of the time there is NO TINGLE...in fact, there are times that we aren't hot and heavy...or even mildly attracted to one another and guess what?!? THAT'S OKAY. I understand that there will be times, possibly days, and God-forbid years...where Mike and I are not gaga googoo over one another.
God-forbid tomorrow, I or Mike lose our hair, our faces, our bodies, our WHATEVER...we have both signed up for the long haul. I love knowing that there are days that we have fights, where I can look a hot mess, STINK (yes, I said it), drop tons of balls (pun attended), and GOD-willing there will be a time when my breasts touch my belly button, my hair is white, my arms flap when I clap, my body is filled with wrinkles - he will be right beside me.
Everyday isn't fun...there are hours where we sit in other rooms, meals where we consume and not speak, moments where he is more like an annoying bugaboo than the man of Steel...just like moments where I act more like his "nagging annoying boss" than a fantastic wife...but guess what - this isn't a test drive, we've decided to not trade each other in for a newer and better model...like Mike tells me all the time, "baby, I intend on leaving the dance with the woman that I came to the party with" and I trust that. There is no one else in this entire world that has taken an oath to love me...betteryet stand by me throughout it ALL...and you know what I take comfort in knowing that yes, it "ALL" does include moments that I can't keep my eyes off of him, where the intimacy is so intence it's suffocating, when we finish one another's sentences or have tons of inside jokes and memories...but it "ALL" also includes the moments when he is running super late to EVERYTHING, when I come home looking like I've been jumped, when he refuses to take his shoes off before standing on the carpet and when I have to continually nag him about it (20 min. after his shoes are off)....
It's nothing like knowing that Mike knows me for who I really am (and I am a trip - leave it there) and has decided that he wants to spend the rest of his days with me...and I, him.
Men and women are totally different:
The pastor said it best, "just to show how different we are - when my wife puts her hand on my hand we are thinking something totally different..." LOL...Mike and I literally laughed out loud in church. We couldn't stop - this is the story of our marriage - everything is a SIGN for him. I can't wear shorts at night without him "I know what this means" (nasty face) "Honey, I'm just hot." An innocent smile before going into our bedroom - I get followed... it's just so crazy how two totally different people from totally different places and families combine and become one.
But if there is one thing that I can say about both of these facts (the fact that there are very few (if any) relationships that survive on tingles and men and women are completely different) is that it takes work, it takes commitment, it takes loyalty, it takes faithfulness, it takes realizing that every day isn't exciting/funny/fun/tingles, it takes figuring out and often times embracing differences and it takes a whole lotta prayer... but boy, from what I feel, from my grandmother and mother's mouths, from articles written by people who've been married for decades - it's worth it.
