Is living comfortably blocking me from reaching my full potential?
This Sunday my pastor taught a message on "BECOMING UNCOMFORTABLE." I am not about to go into that message, because quite frankly he rocked out on it and I would never be able to fully articulate it. If you want to listen to it (I highly suggest it) the link is below: http://www.gracecovdc.org/media/2011/mar/20/uncomfortable/
But the message "got me to thinking" that I have grown into a comfortable, happy, peaceful person. Yes, you heard me. The fairly-angry, ambitious, rebellious, determined teenager/early 20 year old is no longer here (well, she is here but toned down a whole lot). The girl that called VIBE magazine every day to get an internship (getting coffee/making print outs), walked 3 miles a day, worked/traveled 16 hours/day is no longer here. The young woman that wanted nothing more than to move to New York, teach, be a mainstream writer, and be willing to dig in the dirt broke has been kidnapped and replaced by a 27-year old that likes things simple, drama-less, and comfortable.
I no longer live by the philosophy "never ask for permission - just do it and ask for forgiveness later." My greatest fear used to be that someone was going to tell me "no" and block me from contributing my creativity - failure wasn't an issue. I was going to be someone, possibly save all the homeless, and live to write about it. But somehow, that spirit has been taken from me. And this is deeper and different from the discussion of humility vs. confidence. This is about the loss of a belief, a hope, a(n)...errr imagination (I don't know what word I am looking for).
It's like life... people... time...me - I mean, I have sucked that spirit dry.
I now ask questions before I fail. I no longer despise permission, but I despise failure and critical/harsh feedback. I fear being uncomfortable (being unhappy). I want to stay in my happy bubble, I don't want to go back to or experience any more uncomfortable situations (death, lack of professional success, being yelled at, being low-on-the totem pole, wearing a not-so-in outfit, awkward social experiences, being a complete outsider, being the person that just "can't seem to get it right"). So, here lately, I run away from the situations that seem a little out of my comfort zone, which means that I have been extremely happy, peaceful, and enjoying the good life... but I can't help but wonder what would happen if I stopped living comfortably. If I stopped asking before failing (most of the time). If I thickened up my skin and went for what I wanted, regardless of the nay-sayers. What would happen if I pushed myself out of my newfound comfort zone (or happy place) and dedicated myself to being uncomfortable for a while - would this mean that I would fully experience my potential and possibly discover God's true purpose for my life?
I guess it's worth a try
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I no longer live by the philosophy "never ask for permission - just do it and ask for forgiveness later." My greatest fear used to be that someone was going to tell me "no" and block me from contributing my creativity - failure wasn't an issue. I was going to be someone, possibly save all the homeless, and live to write about it. But somehow, that spirit has been taken from me. And this is deeper and different from the discussion of humility vs. confidence. This is about the loss of a belief, a hope, a(n)...errr imagination (I don't know what word I am looking for).
It's like life... people... time...me - I mean, I have sucked that spirit dry.
I now ask questions before I fail. I no longer despise permission, but I despise failure and critical/harsh feedback. I fear being uncomfortable (being unhappy). I want to stay in my happy bubble, I don't want to go back to or experience any more uncomfortable situations (death, lack of professional success, being yelled at, being low-on-the totem pole, wearing a not-so-in outfit, awkward social experiences, being a complete outsider, being the person that just "can't seem to get it right"). So, here lately, I run away from the situations that seem a little out of my comfort zone, which means that I have been extremely happy, peaceful, and enjoying the good life... but I can't help but wonder what would happen if I stopped living comfortably. If I stopped asking before failing (most of the time). If I thickened up my skin and went for what I wanted, regardless of the nay-sayers. What would happen if I pushed myself out of my newfound comfort zone (or happy place) and dedicated myself to being uncomfortable for a while - would this mean that I would fully experience my potential and possibly discover God's true purpose for my life?
I guess it's worth a try
