Stream of Consciousness. In Transition.

This painting perfectly represents my stream of consciousness - the way that there is this beautiful gold and brown painting with a flicker of light at the top. It reminds me of my transition - it's grassroots and earthy (brown), but yet beautiful and priceless (golden). It's not completely smooth- there are some rough patches (texture), but the light is there - it feels heaven sent. ( this picture from www.artlocal21.com/)

10:03  p.m. Steam of consciousness, because it's taking me too long to write this article in an articulate way. I cannot organize my thoughts right now. I am tired and want to sleep. I am thinking about taking a break from the blog so that I can have one less thing on my plate, but I love it and I can't imagine not writing - so what else can go? Hmmmmm....nothing. Really? Nothing. Wow. Nothing.

9:50 p.m. So, as we speak - for about the last three months - I've been going through a major transition. Not so much in my physical, but more so in my inner-self. I can't really explain all of this - as it is 9:54 am and I need to be sleep, because I need to wake up at 5:00 am tomorrow; however I will say that I am going through a transition. The Lord has been bringing some things about me to the forefront, many of these characteristics and thoughts that I need to change - fear, anxiety, stress, anger, worry, competitive, insecure, and unhealthy thoughts. Some of these are parts of me that I've assumed are just "me" and some are recent discoveries. I want them gone. I want to know...

10:03 p.m. I want to know what life would feel like if I truly trusted that that Lord is God and ruler over my life and I have nothing to worry about. Like I want to live a carefree life - I mean, what's there to worry about? Really? When you believe in the Lord and that He has this all figured out and worked out - what's there to worry about? When I think about all the flawed people that He chose to do great things - what's there to worry about? David - an adulturer and some may say murder - he makes king and says that they share the same heart. Solomon wises man and riches man - tries out every sin. Peter, Jesus's main-man denied Him three times. Moses freakin' killed someone and then tried to get out of delivering the people, because he had a stutter. The Lord still had them walk in their purpose. He still loved them. And He forgave them - so what the heck do I have to worry about? stress about? be insecure over?  be upset over - I'm blessed - why am I upset? I don't know.

10:10 p.m. A healthy lifestyle is so much greater than what you eat and whether you work out. It's so much more about your heart, forgiveness, you mindset...and whether you get proper sleep. Goodnight.