My Random Thoughts...

Yesterday, in one of our team meetings - collegues started talking about the "mortgages" that they have to pay. My skin began to crawl... why am I almost 30 and a mortgage freaks me out. The idea of a house is great. I like houses. I grew up in a house. But I'm sooooo not ready for a house.

Speaking of which, Mike wants to move internationally for 2-3 years. He's in talks with his company. I said, "it sounds good." I love traveling. I love being free. I always wanted to live internationally, BUT I am getting really cold feet. I keep asking him about the 6 month program - he's not feeling it - for real. I am such a family/friend girl - I really don't know if I can spend that much time away from my loved ones, especially (God willing) because I will have a little one(s).

Today, I saw one of my students mothers watching my student walk to school. The mother was standing on the bottom of the hill - looking at her daughter make the trek to school. I got seriously misty eyed - thinking "one day this will be me. My baby will be a little boy going to school - out of the security of my care."

I am so excited about meeting my son, but part of me thinks I am going to miss being pregnant. It's like our own little world - mine, his, and Mike's. That man is constantly on my stomach - literally I am used to sitting in a public space - with Mike around my stomach talking, rubbing, or laughing. It's totally usual for me to fall asleep with Mike holding on to my stomach or reading "The Purpose Driven Life" to our son. Not to mention, this is the first time in my life that I have a solid stomach :). I love looking at it - I've never had a hard stomach. NEVER. So this feels good...mighty mighty good.