My terrible habit.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is that I am absolutely
excellent! Thank you, Jesus.

When people that I know ask me how I am doing - it's hard for me to give an "all-the-way" positive report.
Like, guuuurl, everything is perfect. Every day I wake up and thank the Lord for my life. I love DC for now. I am genuinely the happiest that I've been in a while. I actually feel like I am walking in my purpose and I love every aspect of it. I love the senior citizens. I love culinary. I love writing. I love not waking up or going to bed at a set time. And as for my future, everything on the horizon looks great as well. It's nothing but the grace of God, but I am absolutely doing excellent."

There is something that feels so "braggy" about that response. It's almost irritating - like, I almost feel phony and "keepin' up with the Joneses" like. And what's even weirder is that I (personally) am so happy to hear when other people are doing absolutely excellent.

When it's time for me to answer the "how is everything for you" question, I feel the need to disguise my "complete happiness" and I always throw in a critical comment. Just to let the person know that I am doing well but not too good. Like "girl, everything is good but I don't love DC. The people are rude." I think the issue is that deep down inside, I just always want to be relatable.  I want people to know that I am transparent and that I understand. I don't want to be someone that you can't really talk to, because their lives are always so "perfect." Even though no one's life is perfect... but sometimes the (previous) response makes - wooo I'm trapped in my own mind, I need to bring it back 

ANYWAYS, the other day while I was reading the Word. It hit me that when I am not honest about my true emotional state and life as I know it, I'm not giving thanks to God's blessings. Like it's like He has given me a gift and instead of sharing how much I love it and how good He is in my life, I am completely hiding it and criticizing it. And God knows that I am VOCAL when everything isn't peaches and cream. So, why not give the praise when everything is going well.

Whew, now I can check this off of my very long bad habit list, next is my nail biting. I'll tell you how it goes! Pray for me, Saints.