Shelby's Rambles: Do your FN job!

For the life of me, I just don't get it!

Growing up, my mother was not the mother that rushed to pick you up every time you fell. In fact, my mother was the one running her mouth in the circle of moms. Sally would fall and her mother would run and brush her up with one swift breeze - kiss her boo-boo and send her on her way. I would fall. Look up. My mother would still be talking. We may even lock eyes - I would hear a mother in the group give a (passive aggressive) "ouchy" while looking in my direction - giving my mother the "mom-signal" to pick me up. My mother would quickly reply "she's okay" and keep talking. My mother has never been one for assimilation or reading social cues.

 All this to say, the one time that I could count on true sympathy and tender loving care was during my sick moments.

As a child, I had major stomach irritations, migraine headaches, and if any one coughed in my direction, I got not only a cold, but a severe respiratory infection... in my teens my cramps were enough to send me home from school EVERY month. When moments of true sickness swept over me - I could count on my mother to become this strange incredibly soft creature - back rubs, soup, "ouughhs and augghs," delicious sweet snacks, and medicine galore. At a quick call for "mommy" all my needs were met.

Although this is something that I want to replicate in my own child's life, I have come to realize that it created “sick” expectations for me. This just means that when I am sick, I want to be taken care of. I don't want to just rest it off. I want sympathy and kindness - I need it - it is my medicine.

This leads to why I am sick of New York. Try finding good "caring" customer service! Seriously. I'm so tired of mediocre customer service. No smile. No "how are you?" No patience. No over-and-beyond. NONE OF IT. No gentleness. No taking your time to fold my clothes before shoving them into the bag. No urgency. I'm totally over it. It doesn't help that for the last week, I've been reading Ruth Reichl's Garlic and Sapphires, she literally describes the treatment she receives at restaurants when she is herself (the NYTimes food critic) vs. when she is in costume (disguised as a regular person). The differences are tremendous and incredibly disturbing!

I'M so over it. I really need tender loving care - I need to be pampered.  I need to be treated like I’m important – like the money that I give is important. I mean heck, like most people I’m away from my home for over 50 hours a week – making the money that I am spending, Therefore, when spending my money – I want to be taken care of.  I mean, HECK, you are getting paid to treat me kindly.

I mean, I’m not walking in anywhere being rude or mean. I’m not asking you to kiss my butt. I don't want you to rub my back (unless you are my masseuse). I don't want you to listen to my life story (unless you are my therapist or Nii)...I just want a smile. A look of interest. A kind word or maybe even a lively joke. A "what else can I get/do for you"... that's all...I guess all I'm asking for you to do...is do your FN job, (please).