Your Relationship - Your Way
"I have little kids in school. I want to maintain my marriage and my family, so I have to be here when he comes home." Hence her recent advice to a girlfriend (who remains tantalizingly unnamed): "She is an actress and in a new relationship with someone else with a big career, and I said this may not be feminist, but you have to compromise. It's been all about you and you're a big deal. And if you want what you're saying you want—a family—you have to be a wife, and that is part of the equation. Gloria Steinem may string me up by my toes, but all I can do is my best, and I can do only what works for me and my family."
- Gwyneth Paltrow for Bazaar Magazine
Here recently, I went to a dinner with 14 amazing women. We ranged from invigoratingly single (not looking), dating, engaged, married (and childless), married and pregnant, married with infant/child, and married with children. Represented were accountants, lawyers, students (masters/doctorates), teachers, big-dogs in the educational, fashion and social work fields, entrepreneurs/computer geniuses and stay at home mothers. Some of the women work from home, others are away from home for 50 hours/week while other women hit the mid-70 hours/week mark (yikes). Regardless of where we stood in life - there was one thing we could all talk about: celebrity juice and relationships (okay...okay...okay...we could also talk religion, politics, food, fashion, music, etc. but you get my point).
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| Seriously, I used this pic because I think they are the most beautiful couple in the world. She said that although she loved him from first site (uh duh) she waited two years before she would let "anything" happen - so that they could just talk. |
In the relationship arena, we were just as diverse - we had virgins, women that waited for marriage, women that married men who were virgins, those that waited for sex with one another, those that didn't wait, those that were abstaining, and those that weren't abstaining and not married. We were completely varied in our views and experiences.
That said, there is no surprise that when we talked about our relationships there was a HUGE variety in comments. Within the conversation we had wives admit that they've never told their husbands "no" for sex, women that have started a love affair with their hubby's favorite sport, those that always fix their hubster's plate (before they fix their own), those that cook and keep a spotless home, those that clean every diaper, women that always wear heels (and a sexy outfit) before sex, and those that wake up every Saturday morning to serve their hubby coffee in bed, the list of "sacrifices" went on...
Throughout the conversation, there were moments when I thought - "boy that's a huge sacrifice" or "man aren't you afraid of losing yourself," but then it hit me - every relationship has its sacrifices. And yes, we can listen to mag articles, famous feminist or girlfriends...but at the end of the day - it's your life, it's your relationship, and it's your partner..you know what he/she likes...you know what you did to get him/her and what you need to do to keep him/her...just like he/she should know the same about you. If the goal is staying together for life... it only makes sense to do what you gottado to make it work...
P.S. Thought this video was cute and I don't agree with everything said ( for instance I got married at 23 - many of my friends have gotten married in the twenties and we are happy), but still I think it's so stinkin' cute.
