Thank God for Norah Jones's Long Day...
Today was one of those days where I literally felt like melting into my chair and hiding in the cushion (just to catch my breath). I was sleepy with tons of work to do...there wasn't a moment of natural wooosah. I literally had to force myself to sit down.
I took off my shoes (drank a cup of hot vanilla black tea) while sitting in my big comfy chair in order to simulate relaxation - you know thoughts of a cafe. I try to focus and enjoy the sounds of jazz, the rhythm of steady typing and the faint sounds of my pump - I cannot focus on the deadline and the improbability of meeting it. I cannot focus on what's next or on baby boy. I have to steer clear of thoughts about what's in my inbox...just focus on what's in front of me. I have to chug in a way that feels foreign. I have to work like it's either now or never...
Thankfully, the one time I tried to be social - I was quickly pushed back into the reality of my situation. My situation as a working mother - the reality that I have a chubster at home waiting on me (ready for his kissies, TLC, and a whole lot of happy baby talk) and the idea of calling the nanny asking for an extra hour to do my work would break my heart at this point.
In order to get home and enjoy my boys - I must keep going. I will not have a moment to slow it down until 8:00 pm ( baby boy will be sleep, dinner will be made, I will get a chance to talk to my love). Then again, at 9:00 pm I need to finish the work that I don't want to do during my holiday, but staying up isn't an issue, because tomorrow I don't have to work (just have to wake up, get myself, baby boy, my bro and my hubs ready for a fantastic Thanksgiving)...
But I realize now that I have my full working load that although I am made for this life - the idea of a moment of serenity is changing (fast)...moments of long conversations over coffee [at work] will be a sweet rarity... times of singular focus are quickly becoming a thing of the past...
Being a working mother is about prioritizing, organizing, and making the most out of every second - because I am quickly learning that every moment has to count. Like my mom says, with parenthood "the days are long, but the years are short..." That is already becoming painfully obvious to me.
On days, like today, I just feel really blessed to have an arsenal of amazing records to close it all out and speak directly to my soul.
