I Finally Get It!
Last week, I was in the shower while Neiko was sleeping. I was having one of those meditative showers - where you think, you refresh yourself, a deep body message with oils and you just allow the steam to marinate the entire room. Literally aromatherapy with dim lighting - way more than just getting a quick scrub down. It was Heaven on earth - then I heard my baby cry.
I was in the middle of a deep conditioning my hair, but I began trying to get it out fast and... what ever I did it seemed I couldn't get out of the shower fast enough. But by the time I hopped out to get to my baby - he was enjoying a peaceful slumber. I gently touched his skin and diaper to make sure he wasn't hot or wet. He was fine.
Last Sunday, I had a convo with girlfriends and one told us that she let her baby cry out since he was six weeks old. I totally admire that parenting decision, because her son is an awesome sleeper. That said, being honest with myself as a mother, I know that I wasn't able to handle Neiko crying at such a young age. Heck even now - he cries... I run.
Then yesterday night happened...Neiko was late for his bedtime. I could see his eyes getting low, but he was fighting sleep. I had a night lined up with his handsome daddy (hubba hubba) - let's say we'd had a lite dinner, the finishing touches on dessert were being completed, and I was wearing the cute sweats :) And my lil chunkster was bathed, changed, fed and burped. So, I rocked him for a few minutes then lightly layed him down - he cried for a while and in true transparency I wanted to cry too. I literally watched the clock - I just wanted to make it for two minutes. But after two minutes - he was asleep. So again, I rubbed his back slightly and checked his skin and diaper. He was good.
Which in turn shows me how the Lord works. I used to wonder how He can let me suffer like this? How can the Lord watch me cry out all night or be in this uncomfortable position? Just pick me up - take me out of this craddle of yuckiness. Let me stay up in Your arms, Lord. Truly, if He loved me so much - He wouldn't want me to go through this. But the truth is, in all of the situations that flood my mind - including my current childcare dilemna - I need the sleep (lesson). Staying up (getting out of the situation) would be more comfortable for us all. But then I am not getting what I fundamentally need - yes, my basic wants are satisfied...but the growth is not happening.
My son needed to sleep and it hurt me to let him cry. I wanted to do the easiest thing for us both - but I couldn't. I had to think about his needs over OUR wants. And in the end - when he wakes up - not only will he have gotten what he needs - he will be even happier. We just need to get through the few minutes of crying. That's how I feel - I've struggled to get out of the crib, but now I've surrendered and I am in a restful slumber (slobbering and dreaming) - knowing that when I wake up - goodness is awaiting me. My needs will be met, the lesson will be learned, others will be blessed, and we will all be happier because of it.
So with that said, thank you, Jesus, for putting me to bed and letting me cry...I am enjoying my sweet slumber, because I finally get it :)
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| What is going on here? |
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| Okay, I'm starting to get! |
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| GOT IT! FINALLY... |
I was in the middle of a deep conditioning my hair, but I began trying to get it out fast and... what ever I did it seemed I couldn't get out of the shower fast enough. But by the time I hopped out to get to my baby - he was enjoying a peaceful slumber. I gently touched his skin and diaper to make sure he wasn't hot or wet. He was fine.
Last Sunday, I had a convo with girlfriends and one told us that she let her baby cry out since he was six weeks old. I totally admire that parenting decision, because her son is an awesome sleeper. That said, being honest with myself as a mother, I know that I wasn't able to handle Neiko crying at such a young age. Heck even now - he cries... I run.
Then yesterday night happened...Neiko was late for his bedtime. I could see his eyes getting low, but he was fighting sleep. I had a night lined up with his handsome daddy (hubba hubba) - let's say we'd had a lite dinner, the finishing touches on dessert were being completed, and I was wearing the cute sweats :) And my lil chunkster was bathed, changed, fed and burped. So, I rocked him for a few minutes then lightly layed him down - he cried for a while and in true transparency I wanted to cry too. I literally watched the clock - I just wanted to make it for two minutes. But after two minutes - he was asleep. So again, I rubbed his back slightly and checked his skin and diaper. He was good.
Which in turn shows me how the Lord works. I used to wonder how He can let me suffer like this? How can the Lord watch me cry out all night or be in this uncomfortable position? Just pick me up - take me out of this craddle of yuckiness. Let me stay up in Your arms, Lord. Truly, if He loved me so much - He wouldn't want me to go through this. But the truth is, in all of the situations that flood my mind - including my current childcare dilemna - I need the sleep (lesson). Staying up (getting out of the situation) would be more comfortable for us all. But then I am not getting what I fundamentally need - yes, my basic wants are satisfied...but the growth is not happening.
My son needed to sleep and it hurt me to let him cry. I wanted to do the easiest thing for us both - but I couldn't. I had to think about his needs over OUR wants. And in the end - when he wakes up - not only will he have gotten what he needs - he will be even happier. We just need to get through the few minutes of crying. That's how I feel - I've struggled to get out of the crib, but now I've surrendered and I am in a restful slumber (slobbering and dreaming) - knowing that when I wake up - goodness is awaiting me. My needs will be met, the lesson will be learned, others will be blessed, and we will all be happier because of it.
So with that said, thank you, Jesus, for putting me to bed and letting me cry...I am enjoying my sweet slumber, because I finally get it :)
