"If he went right to get you, God knows he's not going left to keep you"
Before Marriage After marriage
As we gathered in my Uncle Tony's basement, everyone between the ages of 23 - 33 sat in a circle discussing relationships. It's Memorial Day weekend, Sunday evening, hitting about 90 degrees, mixed drinks/beer/shots/pops are plentiful, we've all eaten and now ready to dive into our relationship discussion. It's about 15-20 of us there, all family (some blood and some not) so there are no limits on the conversation. We are going to go where the night leads us, hopefully no feelings are hurt but if they are – there will be hugs, kisses, and make-up discussions.
A. Yancey kicks us off, leading to Veronika to follow and then the crazy chaos begins...that is until Uncle Ron steps in. Uncle Ron is a fly gentleman that shines his shoes every morning because it makes him feel good. He’s married to a beautiful woman 19 years younger and as he puts it has a "lot of relationship experience" to give. The information he gives us makes my Uncle Todd's ears perk and Uncle Todd being one of the realest dudes I know joins the conversation. So, it's all these men ranging in age throwing a "dude's mindset" on the conversation-table.
"Yeah, don't ever ask a man to be your man, because if he wants to be your man he’ll pursue you!"
As the drinks continue to flow, the audience increases, laughter rolls harder, voices grow louder, the men's words begin hitting me like bricks:
"For the young women in relationships, esp. those married (shoot! I am the only one married) remember a woman marries because of the potential that she sees in a man but a man marries because he wants what he has!"
The men start giving each other high-fives and screaming "Amen" - Mike leads the bunch...ridiculous.
"What that means is if you were wearing heels, your crib was clean, your hair was done, your dresses were sexy and your nails were polished while we were dating...that's what I think I am getting. THAT'S WHAT I WANT. So, when we get married and all of a sudden you’re wearing sweats all the time, your hair is a mess, and when we step out you aren't fly...then YES, I AM DISAPPOINTED and may question what the h#!! I got into. If I married or started dating a stunner that's what I want for life."
"Yeah, women will be like, yeah, he doesn't have a job, he can't dress...but I can change that. Men are like dang she is ambitious, funny, and keeps up with herself...she's a keeper."
And Uncle Ron ended by saying, "if I went RIGHT to get her, God knows I'm not going LEFT to keep her."
"It's one of the number one things women do to lose a man...lie in the beginning. Be who you are because if you let a man think you are one way in the beginning and then turn around and be someone else then you will lose your man...because he will go after what he thought he had."
I have heard this advice from my dad and my mom many times (my mom gave me workout clothes before my wedding like you will need these, make sure you keep it together...lol) but to hear it from other men and then see the reaction of all the other men listening, made me think more about this conversation and want to share with y’all.
Take it or leave it.
A. Yancey kicks us off, leading to Veronika to follow and then the crazy chaos begins...that is until Uncle Ron steps in. Uncle Ron is a fly gentleman that shines his shoes every morning because it makes him feel good. He’s married to a beautiful woman 19 years younger and as he puts it has a "lot of relationship experience" to give. The information he gives us makes my Uncle Todd's ears perk and Uncle Todd being one of the realest dudes I know joins the conversation. So, it's all these men ranging in age throwing a "dude's mindset" on the conversation-table.
"Yeah, don't ever ask a man to be your man, because if he wants to be your man he’ll pursue you!"
As the drinks continue to flow, the audience increases, laughter rolls harder, voices grow louder, the men's words begin hitting me like bricks:
"For the young women in relationships, esp. those married (shoot! I am the only one married) remember a woman marries because of the potential that she sees in a man but a man marries because he wants what he has!"
The men start giving each other high-fives and screaming "Amen" - Mike leads the bunch...ridiculous.
"What that means is if you were wearing heels, your crib was clean, your hair was done, your dresses were sexy and your nails were polished while we were dating...that's what I think I am getting. THAT'S WHAT I WANT. So, when we get married and all of a sudden you’re wearing sweats all the time, your hair is a mess, and when we step out you aren't fly...then YES, I AM DISAPPOINTED and may question what the h#!! I got into. If I married or started dating a stunner that's what I want for life."
"Yeah, women will be like, yeah, he doesn't have a job, he can't dress...but I can change that. Men are like dang she is ambitious, funny, and keeps up with herself...she's a keeper."
And Uncle Ron ended by saying, "if I went RIGHT to get her, God knows I'm not going LEFT to keep her."
"It's one of the number one things women do to lose a man...lie in the beginning. Be who you are because if you let a man think you are one way in the beginning and then turn around and be someone else then you will lose your man...because he will go after what he thought he had."
I have heard this advice from my dad and my mom many times (my mom gave me workout clothes before my wedding like you will need these, make sure you keep it together...lol) but to hear it from other men and then see the reaction of all the other men listening, made me think more about this conversation and want to share with y’all.
Take it or leave it.
