What's HE/SHE REALLY TELLING you?
Forget the FEELINGS? What is he/she really saying or not saying? Post-church, I met up with three of my girlfriends for brunch in the city. We literally planned to have a nice afternoon brunch and head our seperate ways, but we literally ended up shutting the restuarant down and then heading to another place for more food and more conversation. Later that evening, I ran into a friend on g-chat, she started telling me about all the emotional ups and downs that she is having with a guy she is dating. This story was just another story of her frustration and trying to balance her emotions with the fact that he is NOT technically her boyfriend. Yes, they see each other often, he texts her everyday, but he is still single in his eyes.
Now of course a few elements of this conversation have been changed or deleted in order to avoid airing out other's business but all in all this is a cut and pasted conversation. What do you think?
11:00 PM
Me: right. I think my thing is that - you are so emotionally involved and you guys aren't even dating
I mean together.
MaryLyn:true
Me: I went to brunch with three other girls on SUNDAY WE LITERALLY spent all day SUnday together and we talked about this too
MaryLyn: ---
Me: We were talking about how as women we are too fast to make a relationship what we want it instead of what it really is - like we were talking about how it's easy to ignore a man's actions and what he is or ISN'T saying and start forcing it into what we want and thinking it's about to be one thing and it's not.
11:03 PM MaryLyn: that sucks and that's heavy
Me: and that's why when we don't get the "ring" or the title we are salty like why did you...and it's like "naw" he was honest the whole time...I was the one making it into something different.
To be honest, during this part of the conversation I was listening cause they were dropping some knowledge!
11:04 PM MaryLyn: I heard that
Me: all three of them said they’ve experience heartbreak because of not REALLY listening to what he was saying or really seeing what he was NOT saying.
11:05 PM MaryLyn: tell me about it
Me: some were speaking about the ring, and some were talking the “girlfriend” title but when they looked back there were always signs.
Like one woman gave the example of one of her besties going to see her man in Florida every week (from ATL) and then
MaryLyn: woah
Me: Right. Finding out that he was about to be with someone else...or my bad was talking to mad other people when she thought they were together
MaryLyn: Woah
Me: but when she looked at it she said he never said they were together, he never went out his way to give her a surprise, a gift, or call her your girl when they were out in public
MaryLyn: dang
11:06 PM me: and these are BEAUTIFUL successful women – like this woman is a lawyer, that’s funny, intelligent, beautiful, and a really good woman.
11:07 PM MaryLyn:aww ---- deleted
Me: but moved to Florida trying to be with a dude that never really wanted to be with her but didn't want to leave her alone because she has soo much to offer, but for some reason she did not have what he wanted as his girl…or timing…I don’t know.
MaryLyn: that sucks
11:09 PM me: right but that’s why I say you shouldn’t get way too emotionally involved into someone that can simply be with someone else...who can tell other women he is single...who is technically your friend
11:10 PM take it or leave it but wanted to throw that out there because it was mad knowledge coming out of that convo.
MaryLyn: Right - I feel it. Thank you
Me: no problem - when I hear things like that conversation I always make a check like this is information I want to share with my daughter, son, friends and family...heck, I need those realization moments for myself… everyone needs to remember the importance of truly listening to what another person is telling you…like be honest with yourself…is this a genuine relationship, does this person/company/organization really value who you are and genuinely want you in the way that you are telling yourself. I dunno
MaryLyn: that's so true
11:00 PM
Me: right. I think my thing is that - you are so emotionally involved and you guys aren't even dating
I mean together.
MaryLyn:true
Me: I went to brunch with three other girls on SUNDAY WE LITERALLY spent all day SUnday together and we talked about this too
MaryLyn: ---
Me: We were talking about how as women we are too fast to make a relationship what we want it instead of what it really is - like we were talking about how it's easy to ignore a man's actions and what he is or ISN'T saying and start forcing it into what we want and thinking it's about to be one thing and it's not.
11:03 PM MaryLyn: that sucks and that's heavy
Me: and that's why when we don't get the "ring" or the title we are salty like why did you...and it's like "naw" he was honest the whole time...I was the one making it into something different.
To be honest, during this part of the conversation I was listening cause they were dropping some knowledge!
11:04 PM MaryLyn: I heard that
Me: all three of them said they’ve experience heartbreak because of not REALLY listening to what he was saying or really seeing what he was NOT saying.
11:05 PM MaryLyn: tell me about it
Me: some were speaking about the ring, and some were talking the “girlfriend” title but when they looked back there were always signs.
Like one woman gave the example of one of her besties going to see her man in Florida every week (from ATL) and then
MaryLyn: woah
Me: Right. Finding out that he was about to be with someone else...or my bad was talking to mad other people when she thought they were together
MaryLyn: Woah
Me: but when she looked at it she said he never said they were together, he never went out his way to give her a surprise, a gift, or call her your girl when they were out in public
MaryLyn: dang
11:06 PM me: and these are BEAUTIFUL successful women – like this woman is a lawyer, that’s funny, intelligent, beautiful, and a really good woman.
11:07 PM MaryLyn:aww ---- deleted
Me: but moved to Florida trying to be with a dude that never really wanted to be with her but didn't want to leave her alone because she has soo much to offer, but for some reason she did not have what he wanted as his girl…or timing…I don’t know.
MaryLyn: that sucks
11:09 PM me: right but that’s why I say you shouldn’t get way too emotionally involved into someone that can simply be with someone else...who can tell other women he is single...who is technically your friend
11:10 PM take it or leave it but wanted to throw that out there because it was mad knowledge coming out of that convo.
MaryLyn: Right - I feel it. Thank you
Me: no problem - when I hear things like that conversation I always make a check like this is information I want to share with my daughter, son, friends and family...heck, I need those realization moments for myself… everyone needs to remember the importance of truly listening to what another person is telling you…like be honest with yourself…is this a genuine relationship, does this person/company/organization really value who you are and genuinely want you in the way that you are telling yourself. I dunno
MaryLyn: that's so true
