MARYLAND DRIVERS! AUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHH....
There are three different examples as to why I'm not feeling driving in Maryland.
Note: these don't include the reckless driving, the close-up cut-ins, the drag races, the transgendered prostitute showing us her package, and the I want you to know that I am looking at you starers..."officer, why are you staring at the side of my face?"
- It's 5:30 p.m. I'm picking Mike up from school. The highway is clear - all lanes are pretty open. I'm finally familiar with the directions, so I'm feeling comfortable. I've had a productive day, having a great hair day, and found the ginger lip gloss [that I thought I lost two months ago]. Life couldn't get better. I'm cruisin' in the right hand lane at about 60 mph (the speed limit is 55 mph). My music is loud, my thoughts are everywhere, and.... wait, "why is there someone tailing me!" Like, I literally see his face just as clear as if he was sitting in my back seat. Yes, you heard right someone is literally riding my bumper on a clear highway! I am in the RIGHT hand going over the speed limit. Really?!?
- Something like this happens every time I drive in the DC/Maryland area: The street is packed. We are all going 45 mph. It's fairly crowded on this very popular street. "Oh snap, two very old citizens have decided to step into the street and cross." We all immediately slow down - trying to keep speed... thinking maybe the elderly jay walkers will see that we are serious and hurry... nope... one has a cane and one is slightly younger with a cast all the way up his leg .... WHY walk in the street knowing you can't hurry? Oh that's right, you just knew that we would stop - even if it means that we risk being rear-ended. Bless their hearts?!?
- Before I list this one mom/dad/momma Steel don't read this :) So, I'm all about getting "IT" in any where, any how and any time. I can't claim to be the conservative headache wife and my girls can't say anything that will make me flinch. All this to say, I'm not uptight about enjoyin' yourself and I totally get the whole car thing! TRUST ME...I get it! Nothing like a dark back street or a parking lot to set the mood. But ma'am and sir, are we really doing this at 6:00 p.m. broad daylight on a busy intersection? It's bad enough that your car is swiveling in and out of lanes and he is driving but somehow looking at the car ceiling, but ya'll really don't want to cover up or stop doing your thing at the stop light? Really?!? No. Okay, so I guess I will sit here silently and stare at the red light, pretend the truck driver on your right isn't staring into your car! Great!?!
