Soap Box and (oh yea) Favorite Song Right Now!
On my way to the airport, I heard this song (Lyfe Jennings, "It Could Have Been Worst") and it gave me a quick slap in the face. While listening to the song, I thought my goose bumps were caused by the mere idea of being ungrateful, but then I took it a step deeper and realized that many times my "ungratefulness" stems from moments of self-consumed thoughts. When you are thinking about yourself 95% of the time and thinking constantly about "how this affects me? what about me? etc." when dealing with others, it's easy to go into a spiral of ungratefulness, jealousy, and self-pity. With all the social media, reality television, obsession with gossip sites, etc. it's so easy to become consumed with the lives of others, which can lead to feelings of competition, which then leads to being completely self-centered (why me? why not me? write on my wall, comment on my post, take my picture, I want to be skinnier, I didn't get invited, etc.). I dunno, it reminds me of the beginning of C.S. Lewis's poem, "As the Ruin Falls." I absolutely adore this poem and every day I try to be a better person and allow myself the freedom of living a life of love, kindness and God-centered thoughts and actions... but each day there is a moment of failure, what can I say? I am a work in progress. Thank you, Jesus for your patience.
As the Ruin Falls by C. S. Lewis
All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.
I never had a selfless thought since I was born.
I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through:
I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.
Peace, re-assurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek,
I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin:
I talk of love --a scholar's parrot may talk Greek-
-But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.
Last Thought: I love the fourth verse, it always reminds me of myself - "Lord, if you are out there, why would you do this to me?" "UMMMM... Shelby, it's not always about you... and you don't go through anything that someone else hasn't been through." "Oh. Yeah."
