I'm sitting on the couch.

Swollen. I am looking at my son sleeping and I'm so in love. It's crazy what a child can do. He's literally only 4 days and I cannot imagine my life without him. It's cray. I was nervous about my mama instincts and my adaption to motherhood. I love my independence and freedom - I love going at the drop of a dime. Living a life of flexibility - professionally, internally, and socially - is my life's mission. "Maybe I will be a painter as a living. Or maybe I'll have a paint and wine night. Or maybe I'll do it all." 

need to figure out where to put his kiddie seat - so we can both
just go... or maybe he will stay with daddy on "bike rides" :) 

The idea of thinking through life in a more  structured fashion - sounded like major restraint. I feel imprisoned by restraints - restraints make me feel smothered and anxious and all around unhappy. I just couldn't imagine making the proper sacrifices for a baby - having to think twice or more about every decision. To be honest, even now, I think it's a blessing that we waited 6 years (Neiko was born on our anniversary). 

With that said, as I look at him I know I'm ready to go over and beyond. Do what ever it takes... 

Yikes, nursing time more later...