What Keeps A Young Marriage HOT!

By Mike and Shelby Steel

So, I am excited because I have gotten a few requests to explain what a "young" marriage means and how everyone can enjoy a young marriage.

Now before I go on, I must put a quick note out there (because y'all know I get awkward with advice) I am by no means an expert - in fact I would love to hear other's thoughts. I am also only speaking from a newly wed's experience - a VERY HAPPY newly wed - but a newly wed. This advice is not foolproof or longlasting advice, for that click here, this is solely what makes me happy in my marriage. However in order to bring in a man's perspective, I asked the love of my life to join me on this one!

Hey, baby...

What up...
You go first...

Cooo...

He says:

1. "Intimate" Time - (a quick first on his list)

2 . Understand Your Role - understand your position on the team and come strong in your role. "Like I can't cook, so you understand that on our team I am not a cook (sees me frown)...better example I don't pressure you to take out the trash (okay I get it)"

3. Understanding that you are a representation of your spouse - enough said.

4. Know what you want out of this thing - we want grandparent love, we want this to work for ever - so we keep that in mind. It's important to have the same expectations in the relationship.

5. Sacrifice - it's not about winning every argument, sometimes you are right and sometimes you are not. Question: is it really that big of a deal?

6. Checking in with one another - check to see if you are making your spouse happy.

7. Don't have too many people in your business - don't have people all in the details of your stuff... some stuff should be private for the health of the relationship.

8. Learn how to give one another space - enough said. That's why I am going to have a man's dean in the house - "NO WOMEN ALLOWED" (whatever, I will be down there with my girls)

9. Stay fly - don't be an enabler to bad habits but also don't be a nag but with that you have to know that your spouse has your best interest in mind (is he referencing the fact I ate all the Blueberry muffins?)

10. Last but not least - PRAY ON IT

She says:

1. Worship together - Make sure you have the Lord in your relationship, there needs to be something that ties you together when love isn't enough...

2. Date Nights - that time to spend just you to, it gives you something to look forward to...

3. Laugh together - laugh about ridiculous situations, awkward social moments, etc.

4. Enjoy "quality" time OFTEN

5. Respect your spouse for the person that they are - like see him for him not just your husband. For example, it's so sexy to me when I see Mike working (on the phone for business, writing documents, etc.) because I am like "man, he gets his business done."

6. Give each other space - chill with your girls, let him go out with the boys, at the end of the night it makes for great conversation and "quality time" because you actually miss one another. Even at a social event, seperate and mingle with others for a while (and then make eye contact across the room)

7. Remember who you are - when you remember what you bring to the table it makes you a lot more confident when around your spouse and there is nothing hotter than confidence (in all arenas). It also gurantees you won't lose yourself.

8. ARGUE - Not too often, but just enough to let the other know how you feel...but also remember you aren't out for hurting feelings (so save the rough jabs)...you do want to make up afterwards :)

9. Do things for one another - pick up a little gift for him/her, make his/her favorite meal, clean the house, send flowers, write a letter...

10. Don't Criticize one another - be nice, who wants to spend their lives with a downer? like really? Be that person's cheerleader!

I am sure most of this you knew but I would love for other couples to share advice, because again...Mike and I are no experts.