He DOESN'T take out the trash! WHAT?!?
I try not to be a relationship judge when talking to friends, because I understand what works for some may not work for the rest. I know couples that love to fight and make-up it's there thing and it works, couples where the woman is extremely dominating and that seems to work and couples where the man is in charge which works too. I must say that Mike and I create our own rules and run with them, many may say that they are too traditional and other's may think that they aren't traditional enough - but it definitely works for us!
So, when I was having an exchange with someone the other day, I found myself completely non-judgmental...until:
Anonymous: "I let my friend stay with me for a month and she just has to have her boyfriend stay over while he is in town - should I confront her and tell her I don't want him in my space? He has been here for three days now and I don't know when he is leaving and I just don't think he is a good man for her anyways!"
Me: "I thought you said that she was paying for the space, like she is subleasing and I thought you liked him."
Anonymous: "She is subleasing but he isn't paying anything...so he should go and I used to like him but things have changed."
"But from what you tell me, you are never home, so why does it upset you so much? I mean, what is he doing while you are home that upsets you so much?"
"Well, he is just...when my ex-boyfriend stayed over he used to make sure that he spoke to my roommate."
"Oh so, he doesn't speak to you? Well, you should definitely say something to him next time."
"It's not just that, he doesn't clean up after himself..."
"You need to talk to her about that, because -"
"Shelby, I hate to interrupt but HE DOESN'T EVEN TAKE OUT THE TRASH!"
"He WHAT?!?"
"Yeah, they keep stuffing stuff in the trash cans and it's overflowing...and I refuse to take out the trash after a man. It's so weird carrying this big bag of garbage while he sits in the living room - I can't do it. That's weird right a man that doesn't take out the trash in the relationship - he is not good for her or the house."
Now as much as I wanted to stay completely non-judgmental about this situation, I couldn't. Now, I can't agree that this means that he isn't a good man for her girl - I don't know the friend or the man. In, my relationship, I mean when it comes to household chores, Mike and I split them based on likes/dislikes, strength/weakness and convenience. I like to cook, he doesn't - so I cook/ he drops the clothes at the laundry place because he has a car/etc; however one thing that we didn't have to discuss was "who takes out the trash"... he automatically does it and I never thought twice about it.
What are your thoughts on the household chore break-down? Or simply what are your thoughts about "taking out the trash"...
So, when I was having an exchange with someone the other day, I found myself completely non-judgmental...until:
Anonymous: "I let my friend stay with me for a month and she just has to have her boyfriend stay over while he is in town - should I confront her and tell her I don't want him in my space? He has been here for three days now and I don't know when he is leaving and I just don't think he is a good man for her anyways!"
Me: "I thought you said that she was paying for the space, like she is subleasing and I thought you liked him."
Anonymous: "She is subleasing but he isn't paying anything...so he should go and I used to like him but things have changed."
"But from what you tell me, you are never home, so why does it upset you so much? I mean, what is he doing while you are home that upsets you so much?"
"Well, he is just...when my ex-boyfriend stayed over he used to make sure that he spoke to my roommate."
"Oh so, he doesn't speak to you? Well, you should definitely say something to him next time."
"It's not just that, he doesn't clean up after himself..."
"You need to talk to her about that, because -"
"Shelby, I hate to interrupt but HE DOESN'T EVEN TAKE OUT THE TRASH!"
"He WHAT?!?"
"Yeah, they keep stuffing stuff in the trash cans and it's overflowing...and I refuse to take out the trash after a man. It's so weird carrying this big bag of garbage while he sits in the living room - I can't do it. That's weird right a man that doesn't take out the trash in the relationship - he is not good for her or the house."
Now as much as I wanted to stay completely non-judgmental about this situation, I couldn't. Now, I can't agree that this means that he isn't a good man for her girl - I don't know the friend or the man. In, my relationship, I mean when it comes to household chores, Mike and I split them based on likes/dislikes, strength/weakness and convenience. I like to cook, he doesn't - so I cook/ he drops the clothes at the laundry place because he has a car/etc; however one thing that we didn't have to discuss was "who takes out the trash"... he automatically does it and I never thought twice about it.
What are your thoughts on the household chore break-down? Or simply what are your thoughts about "taking out the trash"...
